Allting går att s(v)älja....!?

[Nicke]

Att formulera sig på ett bra sätt kan vara bra om man vill sälja något. Men också skönt om man vill säga något.

Kolla in denna annons.

http://www.blocket.se/vi/14660368.htm?ca=15_s

[-ah]

Ed Milich håller på att sälja en Quota med denna text:

Vehicle Description

Hahahahahaha. Here we go again! In our last episode, the mighty Darth Quota rung up 10,000 hits, over a hundred questions and ZERO bids. So-what’s the problem? You afraid of buying one of Guzzi’s many ENGINEERING SOLUTIONS TO PROBLEMS THAT NO ONE ASKED? Yeah, that’s fine. Just move one to the next auction, weenie-boy. Nothing to see here. Maybe look for a nice R1100GS. Those BMW guys are cordial enough, and they smell nice. That’s a much easier path to take than with this GUZZI WEIRDO STATION WAGON. Hint: look for a GS that already has hard bags, heated seat with hemorrhoid perch, a built in portable hibachi and an assortment of RAM mounts for your GPS, satellite phone, police scanner, garage door opener, night vision screeen, and UFO beacon. Oh, and cupholders. Make sure you get a GS with some nice cupholders. No sense in having an ADVENTURE RIDE if you can’t bring along a nice hazelnut frappuccino. You can lowball the current owner, and he’ll probably bite because he’s too afraid of his rear drive disintegrating in the middle of his ADVENTURE RIDE to Timbuktu, at which point he would have to move into that quaint native village that he formerly enjoyed tearing a$$ through. I hear that the Village Idiot has a daughter that’s right about the marryin’ age (…14 harvests- completely legal in greater Timbuktu). Yeah, you’ll look like a real farking Ponce De Leon as you pave new trails to the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf on your new GS. You can sit around the campfire at your next rally of like-minded motorcycle consumers and talk about which fancy new accoutrements from the Rider Warehouse catalog (an 100+ page compendium of completely unnecessary motorcycle crap) you’ll be purchasing next. OR maybe you are actually a Guzzi Weirdo prospect. You want to buy your way into a circle of motorcycling friends who will respect you even though you weren’t always the first pick on the kickball team back in grade school. “That Jim, he dresses like the 99-cent rack at the Salvation Army thrift store, he smells like the fish counter at Kroger’s and he’s always got something hanging out of his nose, but he rides a GUZZI so he must be OK”. Well, this Quota gets you into that club for well under four big ones. Then you can gain the immediate admiration from all the other ADV rider wackos when you add “Quota” to your profile sig. Yeah, instant credibility. Not bad for under four thousand bucks. Heck, you don’t even have to ride the damn thing. Lemme break it to you- nobody else on that website rides motorcycles, either. The truth is that they’re all in fact “care receivers” at a small mental institution in lower Des Moines, and that the internet is thought to be good therapy for their megalomania and obsessive, chronic onanism. To sweeten the deal here, I’ve dropped the price on the Quota a few hundred bucks from last time because I’m sick of looking at it in my driveway, and the neighbors are starting to complain about the four bikes sitting in front of my house. Good thing they don’t know about the bodies under the porch, huh. OK. I’m sure that I now have the attention of every TIGHTWAD ADVENTURE RIDER within earshot of the internet. Yes, you too can recapture your lost childhood and win the admirations of your fellow Kinkos employees by becoming the latest in a series of brilliant motorcycle marketing archetypes: THE ADVENTURE RIDER [roll Morricone’s “The Good the Bad and the Ugly” theme]….best of all, this Quota is cheap! Oh, and did I mention that it’s CHEAP? Yeah. Are you the guy who always draws funny looks from your riding companions when it’s time to pay the tab at “The Feedin Trough” after your 50 mile ride? Have you used “All I have is plastic-how bout I get ya next time…” on your buddies to the point where…hmmm… they haven’t really been calling you to go on rides, lately, have they? Well, then, tenderfoot… have I got a deal for you. This bike is CALLING YOUR NAME. With this, the CHEAPEST QUOTA IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, you can become a certified ADVENTURE RIDER for less than four g’s. That means that you’ll still have some extra cash left over to buy those day old bagels from the Bargain Basement Bakery, and shop for formal wear at that one stall at the truck stop flea market. [Oh, and here's a nugget for all you broke-assed poverty riders: You can sit in McDonalds ALL DAY and drink coffee- all ya gotta do is pay for the first cup. Mmmmm! Tastes like FREE! Maybe they'll let you have a big BMW/ADVENTURE rally in the parking lot! Lemme know if I can help. I'll speak with the Assistant Manager...] So-got a question on the bike? I’ll save you some time: Yes, it runs. Yes, it has tires. Yes, you can jump on it and ride back home to your hotel room in downtown Witchita straight forth. The other specifics, I prefer to leave to remain mired in mystery that is ADVENTURE RIDING. You want adventure? I’ll give you some. Hand me a stack of hundreds and let’s see how far you get on this piggie. Here’s the part where I shut up about the pile that I’m selling and answer your inane, maddening and very rarely insightful questions Let ‘em rip. Oh, and watch for a short treatise on internet motorcycle wackos by yours truly in the next issue of MOTORCYCLIST MAGAZINE, the BEST motorcycle rag in the farking world.

Hojen står i California, om nå'n skulle falla för frestelsen

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Moto-Guz ... dZViewItem